Why are we still being raped?

In light of the recent New Delhi bus rape in India and the rape case in Steubenville, Ohio, it seems only fitting to delve into the ‘why’ of it all. Of course, there can never be a good enough answer to satisfy us.

In these cases, I think it is the dehumanization of the female body that shocks, angers and saddens us.

Let’s review the two cases:

Case 1: A 23-year-old medical student, Jyoti Singh Pandey, dies two weeks after being savagely attacked and raped by six men. All while on a moving bus in New Delhi.

Case 2: A 16-year-old girl is urinated on and raped by football players from Steubenville, Ohio. This photo was shared by bystanders via social media platforms. It shows two of the accused players carrying the unconscious girl. This picture was snapped at one of the many parties they dragged her to during the night.

Patriarchy or an extreme form of  dehumanization?

Is this a sign that patriarchy is still alive and well – or rather that some of us have become more adept at dehumanizing people in this way? I think it is the latter. Patriarchy is still alive and well, yet patriarchy is not the main problem, even though it does play a part. For example, many women all over the world still do not get the same respect or rights that most men do. But let’s face it, not all chauvinists rape women.

Over time, though, we have become desensitized to murders, rapes, massacres and other violent acts. We are obviously influenced directly by the TV and the internet, where we have  easy access to graphic images of war and rape, and where we can glean all the grim details, for example, of how children were murdered recently in Connecticut in the US.

As we continue to be part of this culture of violence, we start to become immune, in a sense, to the ‘humanness’ of victims, viewing them as mere fictitious characters or actors. Acts of violence such as rape are thus becoming more common and savage as people start to distance themselves in this way.

Has rape thus become more an issue of dehumanized game-play - where rapists view themselves as characters playing a violent game where they regard their victim as a helpless subhuman non-person who they can easily dominate?

Let us know what you think…

   

Now trending: Slut-Shaming memes

So, we've talked about 'slut-shaming' before. That is basically attacking women for having sex, having sex with more than one partner, for dressing provocatively, i.e. 'slutty', etc. Now, many women might not see the problem in this. It's nothing more than harmless gossip, right? Wrong.

Some women are going to great lengths to make these so-called 'sluts' as uncomfortable as possible. So much so that some teen girls are even committing suicide because of it.

The latest slut-shaming trend? The 'Hey Girl, Did You Know' meme. Here (and above) are some examples:

Anyone can of course contribute and create their own meme. That they most definitely do. This trend has gone viral.

For the last time, stop persecuting each other and start to support each other. Sometimes women just don't realize how much damage they do by shaming each other in this way. 'Bitch', 'whore' and 'slut' may be words that came into existence because of men, yet they are constantly engrained in our everyday thinking because we as women keep on using them. Stop perpetuating slut-shaming and soon we'll drive these words out of existence.

I know, I know. Easier said than done. Let's at least give it a try.

   

Transgender model Lea T. for Philipp Plein

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A transsexual Michelle Obama

Candy magazine celebrates 'transversal style'. For its fifth issue, publisher Luis Venegas decided to feature a transexual model, Connie Fleming, as Michelle Obama. They called her 'The Candydate'. He explains the rationale behind the cover here:

'I especially love the cover story, which for the first time isn't a super-popular star, but a fabulous, beautiful black transwoman channeling a politician who looks pretty much like Michelle Obama. I remember back in early 2007 when the Democratic Party’s nominees were narrowed down between two 'controversial' stereotypes never before seen for presidency: a black man, Barack Obama; and a woman, Hillary Rodham Clinton. At that time, I thought, 'when will the time come when these archaic walls break down and the White House will be occupied by, for example, a black, transsexual woman?'

I love this cover and the idea of 'anything is possible' behind it.

They have also features James Franco on the cover in the past.

Was this Serena Williams impersonation super racist?

Recently, Danish tennis player Caroline Wozniacki strutted onto the court mid-way through a game with towels stuffed in her clothes to represent a Serena-like chest and bum. The audience laughed as she pranced around with the padding. She even let out a moan every time she struck the ball - one of Serena's signatures. This wasn't even her first time doing this impersonation. Last year, she skipped onto court to a Rihanna song; also padded as to represent Miss Williams's body shape.

Her behaviour was strange and no one really knew why she acted this way, yet the blogosphere and Twitter lit up with responses. One blogger wrote: 'This isn’t “harmless fun” as one article described it. its racist. out and outright racism. mocking and making fun of the bodies of black women for a laugh? real funny, stupid white girl. real real funny.'

Another wrote:

'It may have been done in “jest,” but I love how people can can turn a black woman’s body and sexuality into a caricature. However, we should not have the autonomy to celebrate any successes of our own.'

And another...

'Given the history and current-day context of racialized standards of beauty, and the hypersexualization of people of color, when a white woman makes fun of a black women’s body, especially in a way that hypersexualizes her and draws on the stereotype of black women’s big butts, it’s racist.' via Feministing.com

Personally, I think this is very disrespectful and without a doubt incredibly racist. I know that she probably meant this in a light-hearted manor; but to me this is the same as putting on black-face make-up. She doesn't focus on Serena's assets as a 'woman', but as a 'black woman'.

Let us know what you think!

Watch the video of her performance below:

     

Barbie's diet advice: 'Don't eat!'

We are of course familiar with fad diets like the cabbage soup diet and protein-heavy diets like Atkins, but during the 1960s Barbie's answer to losing weight, and keeping it off for good, was quite a special one. That is: "Don't eat!"

According to the "Slumber Party Barbie," produced in the mid-1960s one must simply starve oneself. The slumber party outfit, complete with a scale - permanently set to 110 pounds - and diet book makes for the strangest Barbie concept pack, probably ever produced?

How do you think this effected the minds of little girls? My guess? Not for the better.

Walking in a woman's shoes

“You can’t really understand another person’s experience until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.”

I love this amazing initiative by Toronto's Walk A Mile in Her Shoes parade which was held in September of this year. It is a parade against violence towards women and girls. Watch the above video for more info and a bit of a laugh.

Cameron Diaz likes being objectified

Cam recently received a lot of criticism for saying the following: “I think every woman does want to be objectified. There’s a little part of you at all times that hopes to be somewhat objectified, and I think it’s healthy,” she said, adding that she finds revealing photo shoots to be "empowering."

She said that she's comfortable being objectifying and objectifying herself, as long as she's in control of the situation in which she's being objectified.

"I'm a woman, I know how to handle myself. I know what I feel comfortable doing and I know my sexuality."

But what about those women who cannot be in control of this objectification? If we say 'yes' we as women are okay with being objectified then we need to ask: Who are these 'women'? Are these women able to control their objectification or not; are they able to choose?

Many women like Cameron Diaz can easily choose to take her clothes off for a magazine, she is in control of how much she shows and how much she covers up. But what about women who are forced into stripping and prostitution? Their objectification is not one of choice, but of exploitation.

I think it is very difficult to make the statement that Cameron made. We cannot say 'every woman' likes to be objectified, all women are different. Some women are able to negotiate the terms of objectification and others are not.

Straight men respond to: "Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends"

So, I recently posted the video "Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends", a fun and quirky video aimed at producing more tolerance for marriage equality in the U.S. Here is the follow-up or reply from the straight community.

  At least - as I was dreading - it didn't make them out as homophobic. Rather just as douchebags.  

The world's 'only' female male model

We've recently heard a lot about male models like Andrej Pejic modelling for women's wear fashion lines; now meet Casey Legler - the only female model to work exclusively as a male model.

"As far as I know, there are no other women exclusively modeling as male models," Legler tells Time magazine in their above video piece on her.

She is an artist who also models. She is an an androgynous being who says she doesn't only look great in more manly attire, but that she can also rock a dress and some heels.

I love what she says here: "What I wish is that we all get to be exactly who we are."

That is the ultimate goal.